Technology Dependant

What is it about technology that is so fascinating?? Cell phones, computers, satellite, microchips, you name it! I am truly amazed at how far it has come in the last century. When I think about all the things my generation has access to, it's just mind boggling. Of course I was alive when dial up internet was invented. I was around when cellular telephones were huge giant bricks and had little tiny antennas you had to pull out in order to get reception. When you watch movies from the 80's or early 90's, it is so funny to know that the technology in those movies was top of the line at that time. The next generation has it best, I think. Oh my goodness. The innovation and creativity people have astounds me. App designers, laptop/tablets(I have one, it's pretty bomb!), water proof cellphones. It's all so much fun!

There is a commercial, that I really like, that promotes the new Samsung galaxy s7 that is water resistant. Real quick I wanna point out that the key word is RESISTANT not water proof. So if you keep the damn thing underwater, it will die. Getting it wet is fine. Hence the term resistant. Anyways, Lil' Wayne is the promoter for this phone. In the commercial, you've probably seen, he is telling his friends, "Look, I can pour champagne on my phone and it still works!" Then him and his friends all say, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!" This is my reaction! Like that pretty much sums it up very nicely!! Not to mention that I was a Lil' Wayne fan for a bit there when I was younger. Anyways, that commercial always makes me smile. It always makes me laugh. That is probably the reaction a lot of folks have.

Think about how our grandparents must feel! How much easier would their lives have been had they had all these awesome things that we have? Probably why so many of them get so upset about it. Well my grandmother actually has a nicer phone than I do. She's all about technology! Alas, these things would not be around if someone didn't invent them. Every single idea came from someone's head. From someone's idea. From someone's dream. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Michael Dell, Sundar Pichai. We all know who these people are and what they have accomplished. Just amazing! Then there are coders! Those guys to me are most impressive!! They are the gas to the car if you ask me. Someone has to come up with how this computer can talk to that computer, use a camera to capture your image, send it hundreds of miles away, and put it back together again on the other side. Amazing! These guys change the world with their ability to do this. Machinery works that way too. Automatic machines that build pretty much everything. Someone has to write the language, if you will, that the machines talk with. The codes that translate a bunch of numbers letters and algorithms into "you there! screw on that bolt!". 

Another commercial that comes to mind, I can't remember who it is for, but there is a family and they are sitting in their living room! The father slams a hammer down on the table and says, "This was your grandpappy's hammer. He'd want you to have it." Then the son says, "No no I'll be writing the code that allows the machines to talk to each other. It's innovative technology that will change the world." Then the days says, "Go ahead and pick that up...pick it up. You can't pick it up can you?" The son is just looking so confused. Ha. Then the mom says, "That's okay honey, you're gonna change the world!" It is also funny to me.

It's true, though. The future is in the hands of these coders and their genius. As long as they have a consumer driven audience that is dependent on the product they create, then yes. Medical technology has come a long way as well. Along with physics, space travel, astronomy, black holes. All of those things. We have better understanding of all of these things thanks to innovative minds like Steven Hawking, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Nikola Tesla and so many more people that made all this technology possible. It is truly amazing, isn't it?

We can thank the internet for a lot of things too. Websites, email, instant messaging. You can even make a living through the internet. It is crazy to me. Things like the link in the comments.

The crazy thing is, that people take such a huge advantage of all these things. They don't appreciate them. They just use use use. I am curious to see what it would look like if even a splinter of people found themselves without their Facebook. Without their internet and cell phone. Without their Wifi, or satellite TV. My sister has a home phone that is hooked up through an interesting app called google voice. Basically it is a land line, but if you miss the call it forwards the call the cell phone number that is on the account. In this case, my brother in law. It is SO weird having to ask for the person I want to talk to like I'm in the 3rd grade again. I'm so used to her, or everyone really, answering her own cell phone. I felt awkward and weird asking, "Um, is my sister there?" Like I was 9 and calling a boy for the first time. It was kind of funny. To think, that is what my entire childhood consisted of. Interesting, right? Sometimes I think we would revert back to cavemen if cut off from all this technology. Literal riots in the street. Well that's happening anyway. But can you imagine what would happen if the electrical grid shut down and there was no power ANYWHERE? I imagine it would be something like that show Revolution. That is a pretty good show by the way. I mean, I personally have lost my cell phone and freaked out. I won't deny that. But in my defense, I live on a very isolated island, very far from home.

In the words of Forest Gump:

"That's all I have to say about that."

Children come first

This is one of those concepts that eludes a lot of people! I'm not sure why. You think that it would be seriously obvious, seeing as how children depend on adults to care for them until they are old enough to do things for themselves. That and a child didn't ask for this. Unfortunately, it is not as simple as all that to some. Those are the kind of people you either wanna slap some sense into, or cry for. I know I cry for women who have serious cases of post partum depression and do horrible, awful, unspeakable things to their babies. I try really, very hard to understand how serious that affliction is, but it's so hard sometimes because some woman are capable of just the worst things. You see it in the news all the time, right? Then you hear or see people rant and rave about how awful that person is. "How could she do that to her baby???" "What a horrible person, she needs to die." I've heard both of these, and much worse. I personally, never had an issue with either of my babies, and I'm grateful for that. Of course, I was super excited about both of them. I think the majority of these cases happen to women who aren't necessarily over the moon about their pregnancy. That's a shame, yes, but it happens regularly.

As far as those it doesn't happen to, it leads you to really wonder what the hell their problem is!! In women PPD doesn't happen to, I mean. They have every opportunity to take care of their kids first, and don't. This comes in an array of situations. Mostly in younger moms and teen moms, partying and drinking and material things are more important, it seems. Ok, I like things too but that last few dollars should be spent on milk or bread not on your stupid sunglasses. You know the ones. The ones that are huge. My husband calls them "My boyfriend beats me" glasses. Which I think is hilarious. It sucks to think that women care more about themselves than their babies. I buy things. I don't deny that. But I also make sure my toddler has pull-ups first.

Another situation we see, most often actually, is the father not taking responsibility. I mean, you have a kid! The greatest thing in the world. Why would you not wanna be around?? "Not ready for a kid" "Scared I will hurt them" "Can't afford kids" Well then maybe you should have wrapped your tool, ya big dumb!! Maybe the mother of said child wasn't ready for a kid either and you kinda just said, "Well tough shit, get over it." WELL TOUGH SHIT GET OVER IT! You can't say that to a woman when you're pretty much the one causing the damage. Not that a kid is damage, just that it biologically takes 2 people to make a baby! It's like saying that the cake pan is the one that is responsible for making the cake. Sure I guess, but how did the cake get in the cake pan, hmm?? The most common name I hear referring to this situation is "deadbeat dad".

Yeah, but what about dead beat moms? This is A LOT less common, but still happens. Teen age moms have this problem most. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS STILL THEMSELVES!!  If you can't even decide which dress to wear out with your friends this weekend, what the hell makes you think you're ready for a kid??? Oooh you're not ready for a kid? Why's that? Because what? Speak a little louder. OOOOH because you ARE a kid! Got it, got it!!
**Side note: IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID TO TALK TO YOUR DAMN KIDS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL, this would be a lot less likely of a problem.**
They're kids! They shouldn't be having sex, you say? Well I hate to burst your bubble there Mr. and Mrs. Hideyourkidsfromtheworld, THAT'S ALL THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT! Peer pressure, pop culture, social media, entertainment, movies, TV, celebrities!! ALL of which are factors of why a young person is pressured into this!!! It is safer to teach your kids not to be embarrassed and TALK to you about this, than hope they're not out there doing it! Your job, as a responsible parent, (I use that word because I think it is a responsible thing to do) it is your job to make sure you kids, especially teenagers, know the dangers and consequences of their actions. sex=kids. That's a fact. Now you can use analogies if you must, but making sure they understand what you're saying is what's important. Hiding them and shielding them from this is not going to stop them from eventually figuring it out or becoming curious. If they know about it and are aware of what can happen, they are more likely to talk to you and you have a greater chance of protecting them, THE RIGHT WAY! Like birth control. Oh and by the way, birth control does not mean I'm talking about girls. That's not what birth control means. Talk to your sons about condoms. Talk to your daughters about the pill. It's that simple. You can't put all the responsibility on the girl. THAT IS NOT FAIR! Remember the cake analogy?

I used to say all the time when I was a teenager, how come my brother gets to go out all the time and do whatever the hell he wants and I have to be home by so and so time. My parents often responded with "he can't get pregnant". (YES YOU DID MOM!! I remember!) I used to respond with but my brother can get girls pregnant. It used to make me so damn mad. The idea that the situation, if that were the case, would be all MY fault and not my partners fault, just really grinded my gears! Boy, it sure did ruffle my feathers!! My parents also used to say, "I ain't raising no grandbabies!". As I said, that's more for teenagers.

Now that's not to say that they are going to listen to you. So in that case, it comes back around to the kids come first bit. What if a teenager is willing to do all that, even after you taught them about it, and it happens anyway? This is where that lesson can be implemented. You wanna go where on Saturday? A party? Did you find a baby sitter? No? Why not? Oh, so you assume because your parents are home that they will be happy to baby sit for you without being paid or even asked to? Did you ever think that maybe we, as your parents, have plans? Yes, as a matter of fact we do have plans. Our plans? We were planning on seeing a movie. Yes, right over there on that couch. Oh no, you can't take a baby to the movies, are you crazy? Such a distraction. Well if you want me to cancel my plans you're gonna have to pay me by the hour. How much? 6$ an hour. Well that's what most baby sitters charge. No dear, it's not too high. No, it's not. Well that's what this baby sitter charges so you're either gonna pay up, find another baby sitter who charges less, or cancel your plans and stay home with your kid like most parents. Oh well honey, maybe you should have thought about that before hand. (By the way, this is just an example of teaching responsibility.)

*Did you like my one sided conversation? I feel like I was listening to one side of a phone conversation!*

Then there are the better parents who do anything and everything for their kids. This includes working multiple jobs, and having no life of their own, and much much more. I know a guy who has 2 kids with his ex girlfriend. Her and I actually went to high school together. I was not friends with her by any means, but we were civil to each other. Anyways, she is one of those moms who does what a lot of deadbeat dads do. Party all the time, drugs, new boyfriends in and out of her life...it is nuts. The poor guy does everything for those kids. He gives her money for them(god knows what she spends it on, but it ain't those kids), he picks them up and takes them to and from school, he takes care of them! For some reason the court won't give him custody of them. THAT blows my mind. Why is it that 98% of the time, in custody situations, it is awarded to the mother? Even when the mother is a piece of total garbage!? That's just crazy! Kids need their mothers, yes, but they need their dads too!!

My mother and I were talking about how sometimes it's ok to spend money on yourself. Like birthdays. Every year since my kids were born, I have used birthday money to buy stuff for my kids. My mom would say that money was for you. I always come up with an excuse for why my kids needed what ever it was I bought for them. This year was different and I actually bought something for myself. She was happy and said that it is hard not spending our prizes on our kids. This is true because I do it all the time. MY kids come first, no matter what! I'm really really glad that I had my kids later in life! I would have been in HUGE trouble had they been born any sooner than say 7 years ago. Life would be inexplicably different!! I am old enough to understand the concept and I never have an issue putting my beautiful babies first! I wish others were the same!

My kid, my problem

I never understand why everyone feels the need to parent other people's kids. I mean parents have their own problems and a lot to deal with. They don't need others coming around and telling them they're doing something wrong. I know a lot of people feel this way. A lot of people would agree, yeah?

To use as an example, let's say there is a brand new mom. She just had her first baby and she has no clue what to do. Instinct kicks in at this point. Of course she has her mother, but what if her mother isn't around as much. Some women don't have strong relationships with their mothers. So she is alone at his point. Here is where it gets annoying. This young mom has multiple friends. Single and parents. Yet all of these friends are telling her what to do. The parent friend seems to push her own habits and styles and the single friend says, "I was raised around kids, I know what I'm doing." "My mom was a nurse, I know about kids." Well let me stop you right there!!! The ONLY person that knows what they're doing when it comes to that child is that child's MOTHER! Not her friend, not her family, the child's mother!! If you are unsure, look it up. There is a ton of information out there geared towards new moms. That being said, I learned that too much information is a bad thing. You can really scare yourself if you listen to every single thing you hear. 

I'm gonna throw in my own experience here for a minute.

When I was pregnant with my first child, Mara, EVERYONE felt the need to "give me advice". My mother and I have always been close. I called her for advice. She was my go to. I also called my sister. She had a child too so I figured, we have the same DNA our children will probably be similar, right? For the most part I was right. Anyways, I had several friends that were giving me multiple tid bits of advice. While I appreciated it, it got annoying really fast. I had been doing my own research and didn't care much for others telling me what to do. Even if that wasn't their intent to make me feel bad and unknowledgeable.

One of the girls had two kids of her own. They were older kids so she had been at it a while. She would tell me what to do what not to do. What diapers to get and how many. What soap to use and why I shouldn't use others. What size clothes to get and why I shouldn't get so many of each size. Just on and on all the time. It really shouldn't have gotten to me but it did. I did what I thought was best for my future baby. I would try to explain to her what I was going to do but she would always have a reason to shut me down. Something was always wrong with what I thought would be good. Talk about frustrating!!

Another girl had a little baby boy just over a year. She was my neighbor. We became great friends. She was chalk FULL of baby advice. She said all the same things the first girl said and more. She gave me books and CD's that would "help" me make a good decision. The only problem was, they were her decisions. Things that she did. What made me most upset was she would push and push and push breast feeding. I had already made the decision NOT to breastfeed for my own reasons. No one could tell me different on that one because I wouldn't budge. My own husband couldn't even budge my decision. He questioned it but never made me feel bad for it. So that was cool. Anyways, one day I decided to read the books she had given me. I went to read the breast feeding section. Even though I had already made my decision, that didn't mean I was just gonna disregard what she was saying. EVERYTHING in that book pushed me farther and farther away from breastfeeding. I had this discussion with her how it didn't sound at all like something I wanted to do nor did it even come close to swaying me to the other side. But not to my surprise, she defended her position too. She told me that I may be against it now, but maybe I'll like it if I actually try it. I think one of those times, I actually got upset with her. I exploded at her. I didn't mean to but I did. She told me it was alright and that in the end it was my decision. That calmed me down right away. That's all I wanted to hear. That my decisions were validated in some way.

Some of the things that the second girl told me, I actually did with my first kid. Sign language being one of them. It totally worked. So in that case, I'm thankful for that piece of advice. My daughter started learning sign at 5 months. She could communicate very simple things. Eat, tired, diaper change...etc. It was awesome. I very much plan on doing the same with my son.

That is all a new mom wants. To hear that her decisions are right. That everything she does, even if it the hardest thing to do, is the right thing to do for her and her family. She should take the advice she wants and use it, and take the advice she doesn't like and simply throw it out. That's all I wanted to hear. Now that I'm on my second baby, I don't really freak out as much. I'm more...relaxed. It is just so crazy, the differences between my first pregnancy and my second. Get everything done and bought right now vs meh I got 6 more months. It's nuts! 

Now I find myself talking and talking about what I do and don't do, what works and what doesn't to my sister. She has two kids as well and we like to talk about routines and activities we do with our kids. It is fun. 

Of course there are many things I would change but for the most part I did alright. I think that is what it is all about. All I had to do was believe in myself, that I could do it the whole time.