Children come first

This is one of those concepts that eludes a lot of people! I'm not sure why. You think that it would be seriously obvious, seeing as how children depend on adults to care for them until they are old enough to do things for themselves. That and a child didn't ask for this. Unfortunately, it is not as simple as all that to some. Those are the kind of people you either wanna slap some sense into, or cry for. I know I cry for women who have serious cases of post partum depression and do horrible, awful, unspeakable things to their babies. I try really, very hard to understand how serious that affliction is, but it's so hard sometimes because some woman are capable of just the worst things. You see it in the news all the time, right? Then you hear or see people rant and rave about how awful that person is. "How could she do that to her baby???" "What a horrible person, she needs to die." I've heard both of these, and much worse. I personally, never had an issue with either of my babies, and I'm grateful for that. Of course, I was super excited about both of them. I think the majority of these cases happen to women who aren't necessarily over the moon about their pregnancy. That's a shame, yes, but it happens regularly.

As far as those it doesn't happen to, it leads you to really wonder what the hell their problem is!! In women PPD doesn't happen to, I mean. They have every opportunity to take care of their kids first, and don't. This comes in an array of situations. Mostly in younger moms and teen moms, partying and drinking and material things are more important, it seems. Ok, I like things too but that last few dollars should be spent on milk or bread not on your stupid sunglasses. You know the ones. The ones that are huge. My husband calls them "My boyfriend beats me" glasses. Which I think is hilarious. It sucks to think that women care more about themselves than their babies. I buy things. I don't deny that. But I also make sure my toddler has pull-ups first.

Another situation we see, most often actually, is the father not taking responsibility. I mean, you have a kid! The greatest thing in the world. Why would you not wanna be around?? "Not ready for a kid" "Scared I will hurt them" "Can't afford kids" Well then maybe you should have wrapped your tool, ya big dumb!! Maybe the mother of said child wasn't ready for a kid either and you kinda just said, "Well tough shit, get over it." WELL TOUGH SHIT GET OVER IT! You can't say that to a woman when you're pretty much the one causing the damage. Not that a kid is damage, just that it biologically takes 2 people to make a baby! It's like saying that the cake pan is the one that is responsible for making the cake. Sure I guess, but how did the cake get in the cake pan, hmm?? The most common name I hear referring to this situation is "deadbeat dad".

Yeah, but what about dead beat moms? This is A LOT less common, but still happens. Teen age moms have this problem most. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS STILL THEMSELVES!!  If you can't even decide which dress to wear out with your friends this weekend, what the hell makes you think you're ready for a kid??? Oooh you're not ready for a kid? Why's that? Because what? Speak a little louder. OOOOH because you ARE a kid! Got it, got it!!
**Side note: IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID TO TALK TO YOUR DAMN KIDS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL, this would be a lot less likely of a problem.**
They're kids! They shouldn't be having sex, you say? Well I hate to burst your bubble there Mr. and Mrs. Hideyourkidsfromtheworld, THAT'S ALL THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT! Peer pressure, pop culture, social media, entertainment, movies, TV, celebrities!! ALL of which are factors of why a young person is pressured into this!!! It is safer to teach your kids not to be embarrassed and TALK to you about this, than hope they're not out there doing it! Your job, as a responsible parent, (I use that word because I think it is a responsible thing to do) it is your job to make sure you kids, especially teenagers, know the dangers and consequences of their actions. sex=kids. That's a fact. Now you can use analogies if you must, but making sure they understand what you're saying is what's important. Hiding them and shielding them from this is not going to stop them from eventually figuring it out or becoming curious. If they know about it and are aware of what can happen, they are more likely to talk to you and you have a greater chance of protecting them, THE RIGHT WAY! Like birth control. Oh and by the way, birth control does not mean I'm talking about girls. That's not what birth control means. Talk to your sons about condoms. Talk to your daughters about the pill. It's that simple. You can't put all the responsibility on the girl. THAT IS NOT FAIR! Remember the cake analogy?

I used to say all the time when I was a teenager, how come my brother gets to go out all the time and do whatever the hell he wants and I have to be home by so and so time. My parents often responded with "he can't get pregnant". (YES YOU DID MOM!! I remember!) I used to respond with but my brother can get girls pregnant. It used to make me so damn mad. The idea that the situation, if that were the case, would be all MY fault and not my partners fault, just really grinded my gears! Boy, it sure did ruffle my feathers!! My parents also used to say, "I ain't raising no grandbabies!". As I said, that's more for teenagers.

Now that's not to say that they are going to listen to you. So in that case, it comes back around to the kids come first bit. What if a teenager is willing to do all that, even after you taught them about it, and it happens anyway? This is where that lesson can be implemented. You wanna go where on Saturday? A party? Did you find a baby sitter? No? Why not? Oh, so you assume because your parents are home that they will be happy to baby sit for you without being paid or even asked to? Did you ever think that maybe we, as your parents, have plans? Yes, as a matter of fact we do have plans. Our plans? We were planning on seeing a movie. Yes, right over there on that couch. Oh no, you can't take a baby to the movies, are you crazy? Such a distraction. Well if you want me to cancel my plans you're gonna have to pay me by the hour. How much? 6$ an hour. Well that's what most baby sitters charge. No dear, it's not too high. No, it's not. Well that's what this baby sitter charges so you're either gonna pay up, find another baby sitter who charges less, or cancel your plans and stay home with your kid like most parents. Oh well honey, maybe you should have thought about that before hand. (By the way, this is just an example of teaching responsibility.)

*Did you like my one sided conversation? I feel like I was listening to one side of a phone conversation!*

Then there are the better parents who do anything and everything for their kids. This includes working multiple jobs, and having no life of their own, and much much more. I know a guy who has 2 kids with his ex girlfriend. Her and I actually went to high school together. I was not friends with her by any means, but we were civil to each other. Anyways, she is one of those moms who does what a lot of deadbeat dads do. Party all the time, drugs, new boyfriends in and out of her life...it is nuts. The poor guy does everything for those kids. He gives her money for them(god knows what she spends it on, but it ain't those kids), he picks them up and takes them to and from school, he takes care of them! For some reason the court won't give him custody of them. THAT blows my mind. Why is it that 98% of the time, in custody situations, it is awarded to the mother? Even when the mother is a piece of total garbage!? That's just crazy! Kids need their mothers, yes, but they need their dads too!!

My mother and I were talking about how sometimes it's ok to spend money on yourself. Like birthdays. Every year since my kids were born, I have used birthday money to buy stuff for my kids. My mom would say that money was for you. I always come up with an excuse for why my kids needed what ever it was I bought for them. This year was different and I actually bought something for myself. She was happy and said that it is hard not spending our prizes on our kids. This is true because I do it all the time. MY kids come first, no matter what! I'm really really glad that I had my kids later in life! I would have been in HUGE trouble had they been born any sooner than say 7 years ago. Life would be inexplicably different!! I am old enough to understand the concept and I never have an issue putting my beautiful babies first! I wish others were the same!