Writing...for fun or not for fun?

I have always liked writing. Making up stories, writing from experience, or just in general. I have searched and scoured the internet for ways to monetize these blogs and forums I have accounts with. Many of them, are set up in a way that if you write daily and people see and like your posts, then you make a little money. The one I'm currently investing time and energy into is called Steemit. It's relatively new. Not mainstream at all, like blogger. The gist of that platform is to create original content, add some pictures, be creative. Just like any blog. The problem I've been seeing with this platform is that people assume that if you make an article about whatever it is you want to, you will make money. I have seen articles that were 100 words, maybe. Here's a recipe for this, here's some tips on that. The titles suck. Not attention grabbing at all. Another problem is that you only make money if someone with a lot of followers likes or comments on your post. So for us little guys it's like well what about me? I didn't realize I had to be a huge know it all guru to make any money. I was just doing this for fun. Unless some big time advertisement company comes across my stuff and says here write about this and then pays me to do so. Amazon I think does that. Anyways, it takes all the fun out of writing. I find it less encouraging to keep going when there are folks writing about how to earn money and their answer is spend your money and buy votes. This concept eludes me. It basically says that I won't make money unless I spend money. A lot of internet marketing platforms are like that. I didn't realize that my well written, entertaining, and informative articles are not going to get seen because some other yahoo is buying his seat at the cool kids' table. It's kinda ridiculous. Now I'm not saying that these people that write those articles aren't good writers. In fact, I could learn a few things from them. It's just annoying when I write an article about something I enjoy, all my hard work goes right down the drain bc of that. Annoying. So this blog isn't going to be very long. I've said what I need to say for now.

Holiday Furry

Well it is that time of year again! It starts with Halloween! October 1 hits and everyone is decorating for Halloween. All the craft stores you know of like Hobby lobby or Micheal's, all have so many fun things and ideas you can do to decorate your home quite festively. I prefer Michael's. My husband and I went there because it was right next Petco. We needed to go there to pick up a few things for our animals. Anyways, we went into Michael's to look around and found a whole slew of really interesting and fun decorations for Halloween. Wreaths, skulls, creepy houses, spiders and webbing, witches, ghouls, ghosts, you name it! We didn't splurge but we got a few things. I thought it wasn't enough but Halloween was still weeks away. About a week later, give or take, we went back to Petco and Michael's. This time, it was a HUGE let down. Why? Because almost ALL of the Halloween decorations that were just up, were gone!!! Halloween wasn't for another 3 weeks!!! Why are the decorations gone or marked down 50%!!!??? I'll tell you why. Because these rat bastards needed to make room for CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!!! Are you serious!!! Halloween isn't even here yet and you're putting up Christmas decorations!!!!??? Not to mention that fact that they skipped right over Thanksgiving decorations!!! None! Not even festive leaves and wreaths. No pumpkins, no scarecrows, no orange and brown colored anything!! It was like an elf walked in and spewed it's disgusting insides from both ends all over the store!!! A friend of mine said she couldn't find Thanksgiving decorations anywhere and IT'S FRICKIN NOVEMBER!!!!!! Thanksgiving is 3 weeks away! Why are there no decorations!!? It just really bugs me that people are so consumer driven!!! It's one thing to enjoy the holidays based on the fact that they are supposed to be about spending time with your kids, and visiting other family members!! Have you turned on the TV? The only thing I ever see anymore is commercials about Macy's and clothing stores. Sales are cool and all, but can you be thankful for what you have first!? Geezus people! I have a few friends and family members that drive me crazy! Putting up their trees and hanging their Christmas decorations, then taking a picture of every wall and spewing their bullshit all over Facebook! It drives me crazy!! It would totally be an overreaction to scream in their face, but that's what blogs are for right! GTFOH Santa lovers!!! For real! Thanksgiving was always important to my family. We sat around and spoke of what truly made us happy. The same things we were thankful for. Being thankful for the time we got to spend with the people that aren't with us anymore. Christmas was saved for the "season of giving". Now it just feels like a contest! Who can buy the coolest, biggest, most extravagant and expensive gift! If you're giving it to someone else isn't that the point? Giving to someone? NOT IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO GET PRAISE! Giving a selfless gift is very rare! Christmas has lost the it's meaning! And Thanksgiving is completely skipped and it pisses me off!! When we were kids my dad used to read to us the story of Jesus and the wisemen that gave gifts and he always put out little symbols that reminded us around Christmas time. He was trying to basically imbed in our brains that Christmas is about more than presents we receive! I'm not gonna get religious on you cuz Christmas originated as a pagan holiday that Christians made theirs. Same as they did Halloween but that is another day's post. Anyways, my point here people is that you're so focused on Christmas and getting stupid ass presents you'll probably return anyway than taking a second to understand why Thanksgiving, a time for giving thanks, and all that is so much more important!! Every year, so much pressure to make sure every one feels loved and special cuz you got them a gift. My kids will not grow up that way. My kids will grow up knowing and understand the very significant difference and the importance of taking the time to celebrate Thanksgiving FIRST!!

The Flea Market

Ok, so today I experienced the flea market for the first time ever in my life. I have been to flea markets but never sold anything at one. It was...interesting. I had my own little table. I had a nice colorful sheet that matched my business cards. I had a cute little set up and a suggestion page and everything. The morning was slow...really slow. It seemed that this was not the kind of place to sell my stuff. I kind of gave up hope early on, but stuck it out anyway. The folks next to me looked like they were clearing out their garage. That's what this market was like. A giant community garage sale. People walked by and looked and said good morning, but no one seemed interested. I sat there for an hour or two before these two dudes walked by. By the way, I make soaps, lotions, scrubs and stuff. Not really things for dudes. So this long haired dude walks past with his scrubby zitty friend and he backtracks and says, "What you got, girl?" I explained to him everything I had on my table, let him smell the soaps. He then says, "I'll take this one." I was surprised but not really. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the only reason they stopped was because...well...I'm pretty cute. Well I try anyway. So that boosted my confidence as a seller a little bit, but I was still concerned. Scrubby teenage boys...is that it? As the morning went on, more people started paying attention to my table. I said good morning to every person that walked by in hopes they would stop. All of my samples of course taken. Then I finally made a sale! This woman came up to me and asked about my stuff. Is it natural? What's it made with? Did you make these? So I explained. She then asked how much they cost? I was excited. If I swing this the right way, I can persuade her to buy. She wanted two of the soaps. She didn't however want to pay $2 each for them. Is $2 too much for a bar of soap? She started asking about the lotions and if she could get one of the lotions. I showed her my pricing list and she then suggested I combine the products into one purchase. What a great idea! If you think about it, it was like giving a discount on the whole purchase. So I went with it. She bought 2 soaps and a lotion for $5. The lotion she bought was $3.50. So I made $5 on what would have been a $7.50 sale. I still wasn't completely convinced that was the way to do it, but then something interesting happened. More people responded to the combo thing. I sat there for the next hour thinking about how to combo all the products of different sizes. A man walked up to me and said, "Damn girl, why you sittin out here all cute, you waiting for a husband?" I told him I already have a husband but thank you. He asked about all the products. Asked if they were all for girls. I told him not necessarily. He picked out his combo. His phone rang and he said he'd be right back to buy. He left and of course did not come back. Figures. But that's ok because the stuff that he was going to buy I ended up selling anyway. I ended up making 2 more sales the same way. Then out of the blue a person told me about the farmer's market! There's a farmer's market? Tell me more, please. She said that many more people go to that market and more of them would be interested in my all natural stuff. What a fantastic idea. Today wasn't wasted but I still feel like I didn't get anything out of it. I want to be able to sell my stuff for what they are worth. Not haggle with someone over a bar of soap. But that's to be expected at a flea market right? At the end of the day, I sold 3 soaps, a face mask, 2 lotions, and 3 scrubs. Not bad for my first time. Next time, I will totally try to go to the farmer's market instead. Maybe I will have better luck there.

Scruba dub rub

So today I made a few things for my little business that I have, Scrubs and Rubs. Anyways, I made 2 salt scrubs, a lotion and a mask. I call one of the salt scrubs "Seaside Salt Scrub". Mainly because I can't think of anything else to name it. I'm sure someone out there would have a clever and creative suggestion, just not today. I love Dead sea salt. I get the fine ground because once your done making the scrub it tends to bulk up. I mean it looks kind of chunky. I added some coconut oil and some avocado oil. I of course added essential oils. Who doesn't love those. I'm not particularly picky about which oils I put in. Some brands are so much better than others but they're just so darn expensive, you know? When I first started out with oils, I got art naturals or plant guru. Much cheaper than the Young Living or DoTerro oils. I compared the two brands, however, and I gotta say the quality of Young Living is exponential compared to the other brands I've tried. Don't get me wrong they work nonetheless, but the potency and consistency of each oil is way different. Definitely better but as I said, not everyone can afford $48 for a tiny jar of oil. Anyways, I also made a rub which I call "Sugar Cookie Brulee". This one I made with 3 different kinds of butter, essential oils again, with coconut oil, avocado oil, sweet almond oil, and grapeseed oil. These are my favorite carrier oils! Not just for me, but they are great for all skin types!! Some oils cater more to a certain type, but not these!! They're good for everyone, which is why I mainly use these ones. This lotion was whipped. So it wasn't made like all my other rubs. I normally add an emulsifier and water and some kind of thickener. This recipe, however, didn't need all of that. So it was super thick. But once it touched my skin it kind of melted. My skin is so soft and silky. I'm REALLY happy about how this one turned out!! I also made a Himalayan Salt Scrub. Himalayan salt can be expensive because it isn't all that popular. Did you know that Himalayan salt was discovered by Alexander the great and has been mined from the same place in Punjab Pakistan ever since?? The mine is 190 miles from the Himalayas. Hence the name. Fun Fact. But I love it and it is a crazy good exfoliator!! The same oils went in and not much to this one. Salt and oil basically. But I just love making these things! I also made an Activated Charcoal Mask!! THAT was fun! Of course anytime I moved the spatuala in any direction, I got black powder all over the place. It isn't hard to clean up or anything, just a lot of it!! I breathed it in too, that was not so fun. It was like inhaling a crumb into your wind pipe! Yuck! I was really surprised at how many things Activated charcoal are used for. I didn't know that it was not the same thing as charcoal you put on a grill! Amazing. I had a lot of fun learning about that. Of course, it is something I need to be doing. Researching the ingredients I put in my products. After all, how can I sell something I know nothing about!? Anyways, the mask worked so well. I think it is safe to say that it the best thing I have ever made! It cleans my skin so well and my skin is so soft after! The only problem I have with it is that it cleans all of the gunk out of my pores leaving them empty....big, huge, giant pores!! Ha, I suppose that is to be expected. You don't really know how deep the pool really is until it is empty. I had fun using it. One batch made so much. I was really surprised!! Zack saw it and was like um it isn't Halloween yet! Ha, silly Zack! I made a list of all the things I wanted to make. All I needed was the fragrance oils for them. I have four more things I wanna make. Then I can take a break for a while. That is until I find something else I want to make! If you want to learn more about these products, you can go to my etsy page. The web page is www.etsy.com/shop/ScrubsandRubsShop....I think. Enjoy!

Halloween

I'm doing two posts today. I'm learning something new and this has everything to do with it. I'm gonna talk about Halloween for a minute. I just LOVE Halloween don't you! It is by far the best holiday. Festivals and pumpkin patches and beautiful foliage. Do you know what the origin of Halloween is? Like most holidays, yes even the christian ones, it used to be pagan. It is widely believed that many Halloween traditions originated from ancient Celtic harvest festivals, particularly the Gaelic festival Samhain. See, Pagan. Samhain itself was Christianized as Halloween by the early Church. Some believe that Halloween began solely as a Christian holiday, separate from ancient festivals like Samhain. Halloween activities include trick-or-treating, attending Halloween costume parties, carving pumpkins into jack-o'-lanterns, lighting bonfires, apple bobbing, divination games, playing pranks, visiting haunted places, telling scary stories and watching horror movies. In many parts of the world, the Christian religious observances of "All Hallows' Eve", including attending church services and lighting candles on the graves of the dead, are still popular. Some Christians historically abstained from meat on All Hallows' Eve, a tradition reflected in the eating of certain vegetarian foods on this vigil day, including apples, potato pancakes, and soul cakes. Where did the practice of trick or treating come from? In the early days, they believed that evil spirits roamed the earth. These said spirits would try to enter living bodies because they craved life. People dressed up to hide from the spirits. Kind of creepy, but interesting. Anyways, I love this holiday. Every year, we have a "movie night". This is after the trick or treating is over. We watch Hocus Pocus. A most amazing movie that will forever stay in the heart and soul of all late 80's and early 90's kids' hearts. My family also enjoys Practical Magic. Another timeless classic. We also like The Addams Family, which not oddly enough is acceptable any time of year really! And last but CERTAINLY not least Night before Christmas. Both Halloween and Christmas acceptable. We also watch, around this time of year, Corps bride, Frankeweinie, Coraline...etc. All those creepy yet delightful movies that our kids also love. We also have a "candy tole". The candy tole is where the children dump their buckets of candy and my husband and I get to go through and take whatever pieces we want. I'm sure some of you are very familiar with this practice. These practices and traditions will live on in my family. We did them when we were kids, and we do them when we are adults and will pass them onto our kids. Not to mention the fact that Halloween is the beginning of the "holiday season" in my book and everything is awesome!

A year gone.....

A year gone....

         It has been an entire year since I have written a blog. So much has been happening. So many new things come and gone. A big move, my kid starting school, trying to start a new business, a new car. I'll just go through month by month.
        August 16: We made the big move from Hawaii to South Carolina. It was a struggle. I had to leave poor Diesal in Hawaii with my neighbor because it was too hot to fly him the day of. Which I was so graciously informed by the airline 4 hours BEFORE my flight. Giving me 2 hours to run around like crazy trying to figure out what to do. All the while, Zack being on the east coast already. I found a dog hotel in Seattle who flew him to St. Louis and my most excellent mother took him in. Once we got to Beaufort, I had to set up all of our utilities and get Mara ready to go to school. She turned 3 at the end of the month....ridiculous! Kids grow so fast!
        September 16: She started going to pre-school at Hobbit Hill Preschool. She loves it there! They are kind of expensive, but Zack felt that her education foundation was of most importance. The school has a baby room and a toddler room for families with younger children. That is convenient! So while she technically wasn't quite old enough for pre-school, the toddler room definitely prepared her for that! 
My parents came to visit for Labor day weekend. They were only here for a few days, but they got to see where I live and sleep on air mattresses because all of our furniture wasn't here yet. My sister Michelle surprised me! That was awesome. Zack was a drill instructor so he wasn't around at all. They had him running around from 4 in the morning to 10 at night! We hardly saw him at all that first few months.
        October: Mid month our stuff got here the day the governor of the state issued a coast wide evacuation for the hurricane that was about to hit. Matthew I think it was. We headed up to Charlotte North Carolina to stay with Aunt Julie. She was nice to take us in. We were there for 6 days. When we got back to Beaufort, the power was still out and I had a house full of boxes to unpack in the dark. A lot of those boxes had random things and just got shoved into closets. A week or so later, Aunt Julie ran her first Iron Man. So we drove up and stayed with Aunt Deanne. Grandma was there too! That was cool. Julie did really well!! At the end of the month, my dad came to visit for just a few days on his way to visit another friend of his. Still it was nice because he got to spend Maddox's first birthday with him, which I thought was nice! The kids were pirates for Halloween.
        November-July: Zack's first platton graduated and we were able to go home to visit my mom. We were home for 3 weeks. I was happy to see my pooch, Diesal. He had been staying with mom until we had a chance to come and get him. It was so cold! Our first winter with actual cold weather in 3 or 4 years. Thanksgiving was nice. As usual, food and family. Saw uncle Bruce. Haven't seen him in a long time. I must have been like 15 last time I saw him! On the way back to SC, we stopped in Nashville and stayed with my friend Michelle whom I've known for 10 years. She is the cutest first generation Irish girl you ever did meet! Anyways, that was nice. Zack started up his second platoon mid December. I hate the drill instructor thing! It is so horrible. Kids never get to see Dad and I'm doing a lot by myself. But nevertheless, I try as hard as I can to be that supportive wife and do as much as I can to help him out. When he works 19 hour days, the less he has to do when he gets home the better! About half way through his second cycle, he bumped into the coach of the shooting team he was on out in Hawaii....WHICH HE LOVED!....That guy put in a word to his command to help him go on quota and be on the shooting team. Again, that's what he wants to do. Christmas they gave him off as long as he worked 2 duty nights in a row. That was nice. Getting to spend Christmas with him. The kids sure loved it! So after that cycle graduated, he was able to check into the weapons battalion and do that. He left in April for the summer competitions. Easter we went to a friend of mine's house. He came home for 2 days in May and got to spend Mother's Day with me. We went to a restaurant out here that has super awesome tacos! For 4th of July, we drove up to Quantico Virginia to stay with him for a few days! That was so nice! We met some of his friends and got to see where he had been staying. A week or so after that he came home.
       August: Ok, an entire year has happened here. As you have read, lots going on. Now that we've come full circle here. Mara is actually in official pre-school. She is learning and growing and becoming her own little girl. It's crazy! She is so nice and beautiful. I just love how she is growing. We visited Missouri for about 2 and a half weeks. A good friend of mine got married and I ran a 5k! I don't run I hate running! But my mother assured me that we wouldn't actually run on account of the fact that it was inflatable. An entire 5k of bouncy house type obstacles....THAT WAS SO FUN! I'm totally gonna try to do it again next year! As usual we visited WildWood and mom's many friends. Seriously, that woman has more friends than I do! She is amazing that one! We had Mara's 4th!!!! birthday party there! Seriously! What is going on! It was troll themed and she was so happy! 
      September-Now: Well the weather is finally starting to cool off. Gotta love that! I got to whip out my boots! That's exciting! Well to me anyway. Zack's mom moved to Missouri to inevitably be closer to us when Zack gets out of the military. Which is cool because that's where we plan to go! They bought a house and they are officially moved! I'm way excited for them! My mom and sister helped her out so much and I am so grateful that my mom and mother in law get a long so well! Maddox will be 2 this Friday! We are gonna try to do a truck theme. He really likes cars, trucks, and pretty much anything with wheels. I just can't believe it.
     Okay, now that you're all caught up. Let's talk about what I've gotten into. For this past year, I have been trying really hard to break into the internet marketing world. It is hard, and I'm not entirely sure what I need to do. I have tried a bunch of programs free and not free that just don't seem to work. I understand the gyst, but it's the details that get me. Anyways, a year gone and I'm still working on it. A YEAR! I have had no luck. As I said, I've tried the affiliate marketing, running links through my own website, nothing seems to work. I'm not entirely worried about it, but I do need to get something accomplished. 
         I heard from a friend of mine that Amazon offers an affiliate program! That is absolutely perfect for me because Amazon and I are good buddies! I get everything off of there! I already have an established re pore with them. Over the last year, I have tried to start my own business called Scrubs and Rubs. I make lotions(rubs) and scrubs and all things skin care. It is really fun and I enjoy it a lot! I work with natural butters and essential oils. My mom says that I might have trouble considering I'm competing against companies like bath and body works. Well while that is true, I didn't stop. I went onto Etsy and got myself a little shop.  

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ScrubsandRubsShop

I have several admirers and a lot of people interested to learn more, but no one taking that extra step to buy. When I came across this affiliate program, I was quite excited. I thought it would be a good way to monetize my blog, promote my business, and help amazon sell some of things I myself have bought to build this business.  The next step is to figure out how it all works, and I'm all set. 
So as you can see I've been on a long journey but I still see the light at the end of the tunnel and I will continue to try my hardest to succeed at what I love. 
        

Home Sweet Home

Living in Hawaii was hard. Especially for someone like me. Family is the number one most important thing in my life. Being over there was fun at first, but once I realized how hard it was to see my family, it stopped being fun. The trips I did take home were 3-5 weeks long because it was so expensive to get home. 4-5 thousand miles, 10 hours of total flight time, and 12-14 hours of travel, made going home a huge pain. But I did it anyway because I needed to see them. 
With my husband's job, it made it that much more difficult to coordinate these trips. He is always gone and his hours are unpredictable! Planning around everyone's completely opposite schedules was really hard. Not to mention the 6 hour time difference. That was rough on everyone, especially my children. Half the time, I traveled alone with the kids because my husband couldn't leave. It made me hate it there. Hawaii was a beautiful place. So many fun things to do. The things we did do, I really liked. The views were stellar. But I hated it!! And I hate that I hated it. I wanted to enjoy it and do all the fun things, but couldn't because I just wanted to go home. That was the only thing I wanted to do. I was almost depressed. Not quite to that point, but seriously on the verge. Especially around holidays. Christmas in particular. All my siblings at home with mom taking pictures and posting them online, and I'm over here like, "Well, I see it's 82 degrees and sunny outside, darling! Fetch the bathing suits!" Everyone keeps asking me now if I miss Hawaii and I say I REALLY wish I did. But I do not. I do not miss being so far away. I do not miss how expensive it was. I do not miss driving 45 minutes just to get 12 miles away. Another reason why we hardly ever went anywhere. I do not miss not being able to pronounce any of the street names because they are mostly Hawaiian. I just don't. I also get asked if I could go back, would I. I often reply not so much and if I did, it would not be that island. Then FINALLY we moved!
Now I live on the east coast. In a nice little town with a lot of neat history. I like it much better here! Do you know why? Because my mom is only a 14 hour drive away! What's the difference between traveling 12 hours and traveling 14 hours? 
A. A car. 
B. I can stop whenever I need. Not like a plane where you're 30,000 feet in the air in a tiny metal case(well not tiny but you can't leave) where the air is mostly never fresh. The temperature is either Satan's bath water hot or Arctic elephant seal cold. And if you do need to go to the bathroom that little button you push on the toilet makes you feel like you're gonna get sucked out. The person in front of you wants to sleep and reclines his seat giving you....zero room to do anything. If you're me because I traveled with infants. The flight attendant says things like "in case of a water landing..." a water landing??? Oh you must mean if we crash into the ocean!!! That's comforting! and "Please do not get up until the pilot has brought the aircraft to a complete stop." Like he's just gonna slow down to a nice and steady 5 miles an hour, OK EVERYONE OFF!!
C. I don't miss out on important family occasions like weddings, births, and in my case funerals. That.is.so.hard!
D. IT'S ON THE MAINLAND!! That is probably the best part ever! 
Not to mention I have other family members close by. Again, FAMILY. It is so nice to be so close. Where my mom can get to me for free if she needs. Where I'm in the same time zone and can still talk to people at 8 at night. 
That is the difference that makes that 14 hour travel SIGNIFICANTLY better than the 12.
This may seem silly to some. I know a lot of people who are not close with their family. I feel sad for them. I wish everyone was close to their siblings and everyone the way I am. I like to think that I am a pretty good pen pal. I'm a good communicator. So keeping in touch is no problem for. THANK YOU INTERNET! No really, ask my mom. That woman will get a text, email, or phone call at least once a day from me. Sometimes on rare occasion all 3. That is reserved for trips we are planning! I'm sure that can get quite annoying, but my mom knew I was having a hard time and I like to think she made an exception. Well at least I hope she did.
I love that I can go home whenever I want now! I am closer to my parents, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, and best of all, MY SISTERS!!! I don't know what I would do without those chicks!! All 4 of them are my heroes and I love them all dearly!!
Even though my husband is gone 19 hours a day, I'm okay with it. I am perfectly capable of holding down the fort. It would be the EXACT opposite if he was gone this much over there. Now that we are closer to home, just knowing that makes things so much easier. Especially while the hubster is gone. 
Sigh, life if good right now!

Technology Dependant

What is it about technology that is so fascinating?? Cell phones, computers, satellite, microchips, you name it! I am truly amazed at how far it has come in the last century. When I think about all the things my generation has access to, it's just mind boggling. Of course I was alive when dial up internet was invented. I was around when cellular telephones were huge giant bricks and had little tiny antennas you had to pull out in order to get reception. When you watch movies from the 80's or early 90's, it is so funny to know that the technology in those movies was top of the line at that time. The next generation has it best, I think. Oh my goodness. The innovation and creativity people have astounds me. App designers, laptop/tablets(I have one, it's pretty bomb!), water proof cellphones. It's all so much fun!

There is a commercial, that I really like, that promotes the new Samsung galaxy s7 that is water resistant. Real quick I wanna point out that the key word is RESISTANT not water proof. So if you keep the damn thing underwater, it will die. Getting it wet is fine. Hence the term resistant. Anyways, Lil' Wayne is the promoter for this phone. In the commercial, you've probably seen, he is telling his friends, "Look, I can pour champagne on my phone and it still works!" Then him and his friends all say, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!" This is my reaction! Like that pretty much sums it up very nicely!! Not to mention that I was a Lil' Wayne fan for a bit there when I was younger. Anyways, that commercial always makes me smile. It always makes me laugh. That is probably the reaction a lot of folks have.

Think about how our grandparents must feel! How much easier would their lives have been had they had all these awesome things that we have? Probably why so many of them get so upset about it. Well my grandmother actually has a nicer phone than I do. She's all about technology! Alas, these things would not be around if someone didn't invent them. Every single idea came from someone's head. From someone's idea. From someone's dream. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Michael Dell, Sundar Pichai. We all know who these people are and what they have accomplished. Just amazing! Then there are coders! Those guys to me are most impressive!! They are the gas to the car if you ask me. Someone has to come up with how this computer can talk to that computer, use a camera to capture your image, send it hundreds of miles away, and put it back together again on the other side. Amazing! These guys change the world with their ability to do this. Machinery works that way too. Automatic machines that build pretty much everything. Someone has to write the language, if you will, that the machines talk with. The codes that translate a bunch of numbers letters and algorithms into "you there! screw on that bolt!". 

Another commercial that comes to mind, I can't remember who it is for, but there is a family and they are sitting in their living room! The father slams a hammer down on the table and says, "This was your grandpappy's hammer. He'd want you to have it." Then the son says, "No no I'll be writing the code that allows the machines to talk to each other. It's innovative technology that will change the world." Then the days says, "Go ahead and pick that up...pick it up. You can't pick it up can you?" The son is just looking so confused. Ha. Then the mom says, "That's okay honey, you're gonna change the world!" It is also funny to me.

It's true, though. The future is in the hands of these coders and their genius. As long as they have a consumer driven audience that is dependent on the product they create, then yes. Medical technology has come a long way as well. Along with physics, space travel, astronomy, black holes. All of those things. We have better understanding of all of these things thanks to innovative minds like Steven Hawking, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Nikola Tesla and so many more people that made all this technology possible. It is truly amazing, isn't it?

We can thank the internet for a lot of things too. Websites, email, instant messaging. You can even make a living through the internet. It is crazy to me. Things like the link in the comments.

The crazy thing is, that people take such a huge advantage of all these things. They don't appreciate them. They just use use use. I am curious to see what it would look like if even a splinter of people found themselves without their Facebook. Without their internet and cell phone. Without their Wifi, or satellite TV. My sister has a home phone that is hooked up through an interesting app called google voice. Basically it is a land line, but if you miss the call it forwards the call the cell phone number that is on the account. In this case, my brother in law. It is SO weird having to ask for the person I want to talk to like I'm in the 3rd grade again. I'm so used to her, or everyone really, answering her own cell phone. I felt awkward and weird asking, "Um, is my sister there?" Like I was 9 and calling a boy for the first time. It was kind of funny. To think, that is what my entire childhood consisted of. Interesting, right? Sometimes I think we would revert back to cavemen if cut off from all this technology. Literal riots in the street. Well that's happening anyway. But can you imagine what would happen if the electrical grid shut down and there was no power ANYWHERE? I imagine it would be something like that show Revolution. That is a pretty good show by the way. I mean, I personally have lost my cell phone and freaked out. I won't deny that. But in my defense, I live on a very isolated island, very far from home.

In the words of Forest Gump:

"That's all I have to say about that."

Children come first

This is one of those concepts that eludes a lot of people! I'm not sure why. You think that it would be seriously obvious, seeing as how children depend on adults to care for them until they are old enough to do things for themselves. That and a child didn't ask for this. Unfortunately, it is not as simple as all that to some. Those are the kind of people you either wanna slap some sense into, or cry for. I know I cry for women who have serious cases of post partum depression and do horrible, awful, unspeakable things to their babies. I try really, very hard to understand how serious that affliction is, but it's so hard sometimes because some woman are capable of just the worst things. You see it in the news all the time, right? Then you hear or see people rant and rave about how awful that person is. "How could she do that to her baby???" "What a horrible person, she needs to die." I've heard both of these, and much worse. I personally, never had an issue with either of my babies, and I'm grateful for that. Of course, I was super excited about both of them. I think the majority of these cases happen to women who aren't necessarily over the moon about their pregnancy. That's a shame, yes, but it happens regularly.

As far as those it doesn't happen to, it leads you to really wonder what the hell their problem is!! In women PPD doesn't happen to, I mean. They have every opportunity to take care of their kids first, and don't. This comes in an array of situations. Mostly in younger moms and teen moms, partying and drinking and material things are more important, it seems. Ok, I like things too but that last few dollars should be spent on milk or bread not on your stupid sunglasses. You know the ones. The ones that are huge. My husband calls them "My boyfriend beats me" glasses. Which I think is hilarious. It sucks to think that women care more about themselves than their babies. I buy things. I don't deny that. But I also make sure my toddler has pull-ups first.

Another situation we see, most often actually, is the father not taking responsibility. I mean, you have a kid! The greatest thing in the world. Why would you not wanna be around?? "Not ready for a kid" "Scared I will hurt them" "Can't afford kids" Well then maybe you should have wrapped your tool, ya big dumb!! Maybe the mother of said child wasn't ready for a kid either and you kinda just said, "Well tough shit, get over it." WELL TOUGH SHIT GET OVER IT! You can't say that to a woman when you're pretty much the one causing the damage. Not that a kid is damage, just that it biologically takes 2 people to make a baby! It's like saying that the cake pan is the one that is responsible for making the cake. Sure I guess, but how did the cake get in the cake pan, hmm?? The most common name I hear referring to this situation is "deadbeat dad".

Yeah, but what about dead beat moms? This is A LOT less common, but still happens. Teen age moms have this problem most. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS STILL THEMSELVES!!  If you can't even decide which dress to wear out with your friends this weekend, what the hell makes you think you're ready for a kid??? Oooh you're not ready for a kid? Why's that? Because what? Speak a little louder. OOOOH because you ARE a kid! Got it, got it!!
**Side note: IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID TO TALK TO YOUR DAMN KIDS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL, this would be a lot less likely of a problem.**
They're kids! They shouldn't be having sex, you say? Well I hate to burst your bubble there Mr. and Mrs. Hideyourkidsfromtheworld, THAT'S ALL THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT! Peer pressure, pop culture, social media, entertainment, movies, TV, celebrities!! ALL of which are factors of why a young person is pressured into this!!! It is safer to teach your kids not to be embarrassed and TALK to you about this, than hope they're not out there doing it! Your job, as a responsible parent, (I use that word because I think it is a responsible thing to do) it is your job to make sure you kids, especially teenagers, know the dangers and consequences of their actions. sex=kids. That's a fact. Now you can use analogies if you must, but making sure they understand what you're saying is what's important. Hiding them and shielding them from this is not going to stop them from eventually figuring it out or becoming curious. If they know about it and are aware of what can happen, they are more likely to talk to you and you have a greater chance of protecting them, THE RIGHT WAY! Like birth control. Oh and by the way, birth control does not mean I'm talking about girls. That's not what birth control means. Talk to your sons about condoms. Talk to your daughters about the pill. It's that simple. You can't put all the responsibility on the girl. THAT IS NOT FAIR! Remember the cake analogy?

I used to say all the time when I was a teenager, how come my brother gets to go out all the time and do whatever the hell he wants and I have to be home by so and so time. My parents often responded with "he can't get pregnant". (YES YOU DID MOM!! I remember!) I used to respond with but my brother can get girls pregnant. It used to make me so damn mad. The idea that the situation, if that were the case, would be all MY fault and not my partners fault, just really grinded my gears! Boy, it sure did ruffle my feathers!! My parents also used to say, "I ain't raising no grandbabies!". As I said, that's more for teenagers.

Now that's not to say that they are going to listen to you. So in that case, it comes back around to the kids come first bit. What if a teenager is willing to do all that, even after you taught them about it, and it happens anyway? This is where that lesson can be implemented. You wanna go where on Saturday? A party? Did you find a baby sitter? No? Why not? Oh, so you assume because your parents are home that they will be happy to baby sit for you without being paid or even asked to? Did you ever think that maybe we, as your parents, have plans? Yes, as a matter of fact we do have plans. Our plans? We were planning on seeing a movie. Yes, right over there on that couch. Oh no, you can't take a baby to the movies, are you crazy? Such a distraction. Well if you want me to cancel my plans you're gonna have to pay me by the hour. How much? 6$ an hour. Well that's what most baby sitters charge. No dear, it's not too high. No, it's not. Well that's what this baby sitter charges so you're either gonna pay up, find another baby sitter who charges less, or cancel your plans and stay home with your kid like most parents. Oh well honey, maybe you should have thought about that before hand. (By the way, this is just an example of teaching responsibility.)

*Did you like my one sided conversation? I feel like I was listening to one side of a phone conversation!*

Then there are the better parents who do anything and everything for their kids. This includes working multiple jobs, and having no life of their own, and much much more. I know a guy who has 2 kids with his ex girlfriend. Her and I actually went to high school together. I was not friends with her by any means, but we were civil to each other. Anyways, she is one of those moms who does what a lot of deadbeat dads do. Party all the time, drugs, new boyfriends in and out of her life...it is nuts. The poor guy does everything for those kids. He gives her money for them(god knows what she spends it on, but it ain't those kids), he picks them up and takes them to and from school, he takes care of them! For some reason the court won't give him custody of them. THAT blows my mind. Why is it that 98% of the time, in custody situations, it is awarded to the mother? Even when the mother is a piece of total garbage!? That's just crazy! Kids need their mothers, yes, but they need their dads too!!

My mother and I were talking about how sometimes it's ok to spend money on yourself. Like birthdays. Every year since my kids were born, I have used birthday money to buy stuff for my kids. My mom would say that money was for you. I always come up with an excuse for why my kids needed what ever it was I bought for them. This year was different and I actually bought something for myself. She was happy and said that it is hard not spending our prizes on our kids. This is true because I do it all the time. MY kids come first, no matter what! I'm really really glad that I had my kids later in life! I would have been in HUGE trouble had they been born any sooner than say 7 years ago. Life would be inexplicably different!! I am old enough to understand the concept and I never have an issue putting my beautiful babies first! I wish others were the same!

My kid, my problem

I never understand why everyone feels the need to parent other people's kids. I mean parents have their own problems and a lot to deal with. They don't need others coming around and telling them they're doing something wrong. I know a lot of people feel this way. A lot of people would agree, yeah?

To use as an example, let's say there is a brand new mom. She just had her first baby and she has no clue what to do. Instinct kicks in at this point. Of course she has her mother, but what if her mother isn't around as much. Some women don't have strong relationships with their mothers. So she is alone at his point. Here is where it gets annoying. This young mom has multiple friends. Single and parents. Yet all of these friends are telling her what to do. The parent friend seems to push her own habits and styles and the single friend says, "I was raised around kids, I know what I'm doing." "My mom was a nurse, I know about kids." Well let me stop you right there!!! The ONLY person that knows what they're doing when it comes to that child is that child's MOTHER! Not her friend, not her family, the child's mother!! If you are unsure, look it up. There is a ton of information out there geared towards new moms. That being said, I learned that too much information is a bad thing. You can really scare yourself if you listen to every single thing you hear. 

I'm gonna throw in my own experience here for a minute.

When I was pregnant with my first child, Mara, EVERYONE felt the need to "give me advice". My mother and I have always been close. I called her for advice. She was my go to. I also called my sister. She had a child too so I figured, we have the same DNA our children will probably be similar, right? For the most part I was right. Anyways, I had several friends that were giving me multiple tid bits of advice. While I appreciated it, it got annoying really fast. I had been doing my own research and didn't care much for others telling me what to do. Even if that wasn't their intent to make me feel bad and unknowledgeable.

One of the girls had two kids of her own. They were older kids so she had been at it a while. She would tell me what to do what not to do. What diapers to get and how many. What soap to use and why I shouldn't use others. What size clothes to get and why I shouldn't get so many of each size. Just on and on all the time. It really shouldn't have gotten to me but it did. I did what I thought was best for my future baby. I would try to explain to her what I was going to do but she would always have a reason to shut me down. Something was always wrong with what I thought would be good. Talk about frustrating!!

Another girl had a little baby boy just over a year. She was my neighbor. We became great friends. She was chalk FULL of baby advice. She said all the same things the first girl said and more. She gave me books and CD's that would "help" me make a good decision. The only problem was, they were her decisions. Things that she did. What made me most upset was she would push and push and push breast feeding. I had already made the decision NOT to breastfeed for my own reasons. No one could tell me different on that one because I wouldn't budge. My own husband couldn't even budge my decision. He questioned it but never made me feel bad for it. So that was cool. Anyways, one day I decided to read the books she had given me. I went to read the breast feeding section. Even though I had already made my decision, that didn't mean I was just gonna disregard what she was saying. EVERYTHING in that book pushed me farther and farther away from breastfeeding. I had this discussion with her how it didn't sound at all like something I wanted to do nor did it even come close to swaying me to the other side. But not to my surprise, she defended her position too. She told me that I may be against it now, but maybe I'll like it if I actually try it. I think one of those times, I actually got upset with her. I exploded at her. I didn't mean to but I did. She told me it was alright and that in the end it was my decision. That calmed me down right away. That's all I wanted to hear. That my decisions were validated in some way.

Some of the things that the second girl told me, I actually did with my first kid. Sign language being one of them. It totally worked. So in that case, I'm thankful for that piece of advice. My daughter started learning sign at 5 months. She could communicate very simple things. Eat, tired, diaper change...etc. It was awesome. I very much plan on doing the same with my son.

That is all a new mom wants. To hear that her decisions are right. That everything she does, even if it the hardest thing to do, is the right thing to do for her and her family. She should take the advice she wants and use it, and take the advice she doesn't like and simply throw it out. That's all I wanted to hear. Now that I'm on my second baby, I don't really freak out as much. I'm more...relaxed. It is just so crazy, the differences between my first pregnancy and my second. Get everything done and bought right now vs meh I got 6 more months. It's nuts! 

Now I find myself talking and talking about what I do and don't do, what works and what doesn't to my sister. She has two kids as well and we like to talk about routines and activities we do with our kids. It is fun. 

Of course there are many things I would change but for the most part I did alright. I think that is what it is all about. All I had to do was believe in myself, that I could do it the whole time.